"Getting Out Of Abusive Relationships"
Are you in any relationship right now in which someone:
1. Offers you substances or uses in your presence after you've asked the person not to?
2. Repeatedly criticizes you, invalidates your feelings, or humiliates you?
3. Manipulates you (i.e. threatens to harm your children)?
4. Is physically hurting you or threatening to?
5. Discourages you from getting help (i.e. medication, therapy, AA)?
6. Lies to you repeatedly?
7. Betrays your trust (i.e. reveals your secrets to others)?
8. Makes unreasonable requests (i.e. demands that you pay for everything)?
9. Exploits you (i.e. sells pornogaphic pictures of you)?
10. Ignores your physical needs (i.e. refuses safe sex)?
11. Is controlling and overinvolved (i.e. tells you what to do)?
If you said "yes" to any of these questions, read on about detaching from damaging relationships
Detaching From Damaging Relationships
If someone doesn't "get it", give up for now.
During your early stage of healing, you must be able to focus on yourself without having to constantly worry about changing someone else.
If enough reasonable people tell you a relationship is bad, listen to them.
You may be so manipulated and controlled that you are confused and lost touch with your own needs.
If someome is physically hurting you, don't buy into "I'll be different next time."
If there is a pattern of abuse, get the heck out of the scene. Listen to their actions, not their words.
If you feel guilty, remember that it is your life to live.
You are the most important person in your life. You decide how to live it.
