"Asking for Help"
People who have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and or substance abuse (tip: substance abuse is considered clinical illness) often have difficulty asking others for help--telling others what they need, asking for help with a project, or even sitting down to let others bring you a cup of tea.
But we MUST get help from other people in order to live a healthy life and to recover from the negative patterns we have.
Start by planning some small steps that you can take in asking others for help.
Ask for help before the problem gets overwhelming! It is never too early or too late to ask for help. Asking for help does NOT mean that you are weak or incapable. It makes you stronger and more independent in the long run!
1. Build a Support Network
Do you feel like there is nobody there for you when you need help with certain things? Start by building a support network. Make a list of people that you can contact when you need help. Include family, friends, therapists/counselors, and support workers. Ask your counselor to help you in building a support circle. You will be glad you did!!
2. Compare Your Prediction to Reality
Ask yourself, "Why am I so scared to ask __ for help with __?"
Then lay out the positives you can get from asking for help and the negatives you may get. Challenge your thoughts. Are your fears accurate? Are you confusing a possibility with a probability?
3. Active Planning
Are you unable to take your next step towards your dream that you must take just because you "don't know how" or "don't have the resources?" Where there is a will, there is a way. There are people out there that you can get help from. In my case, I had been wanting to take my musical career further and make a demo recording, but I "don't know how to do it", "don't have friends that can help me", and "don't have enought money". My counselor has helped me come up with a plan. I will call my previous music instructors and find out if I could meet up with one of them to get some help.
Active steps: Write on a piece of paper answering these 4 questions.
1) Who will you talk to?
2) What will you say?
3) What do you predict will happen?
4) What did happen in reality?
If they say no, that is OK. It has nothing to do with YOU. They may be having a busy week--ask if there is a better time. If the answer is still a no, ask someone else!
