"5 Tips For Learning to Trust People"
As survivors of child abuse, we may find it hard to trust people. We make pre-assumptions based on our trauma/abuser from the past and we may be extra sensitively looking for "abuser" signs. This is a survival skill that our brains have acquired through our experience.
I want to ask you today, though, to stop and think about this tendency and observe your relationships.
I have friends that I keep a certain distance with just because I think that they won't like me when they get to know me better and they will leave me. I thought about this, and realized that if they were going to leave me for who I am at this point in life, then they are friends that aren't worth having. A good friend will see through my going through changes and becoming a better me. They will be willing to support me.
1. Be honest With Your Friends
You don't have to completely open up to absolutely everyone that you know. But there has to be a few people that you can trust and go to. Be honest with them, and tell them what you are going through and how you will get through it.
2. Ask The Question, "Would It Harm Me If I Give This Person My Trust?"
Stop and ask. Do not let your automatic thoughts lead your life. Often, our automatic thoughts are not facts--consider that we are sensitive because of our trauma. Annalyze the pros and cons of your giving that person your trust.
3. If You Don't Feel Safe, It Is Okay To Avoid
If you don't feel comfortable around them, you don't have to force yourself. Respect yourself and consider the fact that maybe it isn't yet the time to start letting your guard down.
4. Ask Others
If on one hand you have, "Is this person being abusive?", and on the other, "Is it all just in my head?", it does not hurt to ask other people about this person to get an objective view. Remember to ask someone who knows them well enough to see their character.
4. Get Help
If you find that trusting people is too difficult, there is help available. You may find that you are often alone. Loneliness is not good for your physical nor mental health! No problem is too big or small. Reach out for help not as the last resource, but as your first. Find a professional counselor in your area that can help you. Remember, these services are of no charge.
