"I'm Possible"
My father was extremely abusive. I have horrifying memories of him abusing me physically and emotionally pulling me into HELL. I remember the nights in my bed when hot tears were running down my cheeks, and saying to myself, "Tell me no. Crush my bones. But you know what? I'm possible." One strength of mine is that I had big dreams then and i still do. My abusive father was constantly trying to bring me down. It wasn't unusual for him to tell me that I have no talent, I am ugly, I am dislikable, and that I should go and die. And it hurt like HELL.
When I went to church I was being taught that I have unimaginable potential and that I can do anything that I desire to do, and that I am never alone. I received that little spark of hope that was handed to me. And I used it to turn my monstrousmess into a fire. In other words, I used all that garbage thrown at me to build an enormous flame that cannot be doused. That flame had me running my race full on, full speed.
I dream about a lot of things.
Firstly, I dream about overcoming all my struggles with mental illness and consequences of child abuse. Yes, completely. I dream about becoming whatever I want to be. I literally do. I dream about designing and creating my own self the way I want it to be. And NO ONE else. And I BELIEVE in my dreams. And I LIKE every part of the process of reaching my goals.
The terrible things that happened to me--They were negative at the time, but I've turned them into something positive. I'm constantly learning. All the skills that I learn to become more productive, more emotionally stable, and controlled will push me forward. I enjoy life because I'm a dreamer. Reality is what we perceive; I live my dreams.
If my life was a movie... I want it to be one that will encourage and save precious lives. And I will make sure that it is epic. And this depends on what I do NOW. I make sure that I use every moment of my day for my dreams.
You're welcome to join me anytime!
