“How to Ride on the Surges of Intense, Negative Emotions”
1. Check Your Daily Mood Balance
To improve overall well-being, balance out:
if you have more negative moods in the day than positive, try to create positive moods to balance it out. Do things that will bring up your mood. Skate, spend time with your pet, go on a hike, turn on your favourite song on the way to work, you know what makes you smile! Do what YOU gotta do to get that scale up to zero!
2. Managing Intense Angry Emotions As They Come
Seize and challenge the thought that triggered the anger. The earlier in the anger cycle you catch it, the more effective it is.
Cool off physiologically by waiting out the adrenal surge in a setting where you won’t be triggered further. If you notice yourself getting anger-triggered during an argument, get away from the argument for some time: 20 minutes is the recommended time length.
The trick is to engage yourself in an activity that WILL DISTRACT you from THINKING about whatever made you angry. (Ex. If you’re knitting as a distraction and you’re thinking about your argument at the same time, move onto another activity). P.S., Do not indulge in treats such as shopping or eating. It doesn’t distract you the way you want it to. (The Art of Distraction)
Sometimes we don’t know what’s under the anger and why exactly we are angry. Remember that thoughts come first before feelings! It is important that we catch and write down the angry or negative thoughts that arise.
Ask yourself, “what thought did I have that triggered the anger?” For example, if you saw that your partner wouldn’t take her eyes off the phone while you are talking to her, the thought could be: “She doesn’t think what I say matters.” Catch your thoughts. Once they are captured, they can be challenged!
Some of you may ask, why not release the anger? We would tend to think that by releasing our anger and blowing up smoke we would feel better. THIS IS A MYTH! There is in fact a word for it: Catharsis, which means that giving vent to rage doesn’t make you feel better. Don’t suppress it, but don’t act on it.
3. Managing Anxiety
You may experience such intense anxiety that could grab a hold of you and make you unable to get things done. Or you may have a high base level of anxiety that you never feel at ease and are always on edge. (If the anxiety is severe like this, seek Professional and/or Medical Help for anxiety)
Anxiety is part of life. It is essential for our survival. Without anxiety, we wouldn’t know we want to keep our hands away from the stove, etc. However, when we are anxious about things that are unlikely to harm us, it leads to unnecessary stress, trouble concentrating, and other problems.
When you notice that you are becoming anxious (check out: 15 Ways Your Body is Telling You You’re Anxious When You Might Not Know It), challenge the worry thought with the questions from Challenging Negative Thinking.
Remember, our emotions are OURS, and NOBODY has the abilty to make you feel a certain way! It always comes from within you through the triggers and your past experiences! And the good news is, we can ALL start learning to manage intense emotions and before you know it, it will become like second nature and as easy as 1,2,3!!
photograph by: Connor Gabriel (http://connorgsg3.wix.com/benevolent#!gallery/ck0q)
