"Integrating the Split Self"
What is "the Split Self"?
The split self is the different sides of the self that can occur in both PTSD and substance abuse.
It is a psychological defense. Our internal worlds have different states of consciousness that emerges at different times/situation. Everybody has the split self to some degree, and it is normal for people with PTSD and/or substance abuse to have the split self that may lead to unhealthy or unsafe behaviour. Splitting leads to unsafe behaviour, as it can occur when you don't expect them or blot out healthier sides.
Oh, and the split self emerges automatically and unconsciously without us knowing it!
Examples of The Split Self
For substance abuse, one part of you wants to use substances while another part doesn't.
for PTSD, one side of you may feel like "a little child" who needs protection, and another a "fighter" who bullies.
One side may be "the carefree youth" who wants to have fun without worrying about tomorrow, while another side, "the healthy one" wants to work hard on recovery.
Where Do They Come From?
Having split self means that you had a psychological need earlier in your life to reject parts of yourself. If it was not okay in your family to be angry, then you would have split your "anger" side. And then the split self would emerge when you don't expect it. It is common for us to feel ashamed about our split self and reject it.
Recovery Through Integration
So, how do we recover from our split self? We must integrate and accept the sides of ourselves that have been rejected. We must recognize that our split self is there for a reason, validate it, and express it in a safe way.
1. Acknowledge, respect, and own the splits.
You may hate and feel like getting rid of some parts of you. However, you must recognize that they are there for a reason. Write it down: Where did "the terrified, quiet one" come from? What experience led to this split self?
Please show love and care for all parts of yourself. This is the only way to recovery.
2. Remind yourself of the other sides if one side takes over.
If a side of you wants to drink, remind yourself that you have another side of you that doesn't want to drink. Try it!
3. DO NOT punish yourself if you do something wrong.
This is important: Blame, guilt, shame, and beating yourself up increase the likelihood of maintaining splits!!
4. Create healthy dialogue among the different sides.
Call a conference among the different sides of yourself. One side can try to soothe another.
Afterwords...
The whole point of this post is for you to take ACTION. If you read this and do not start writing things down on paper, you earned nothing. NOTHING. You might as well not have read this.
But if you are a doer, try any of the following exercises.
Remember, you can have all the knowledge in life and be useless if you don't use it to take action.
1. Write a letter of acceptance to a part of yourself you've rejected, and promise that you will respect and listen to it.
2. Think of the last time you used substances or had other dangerous behaviour. What part of you led to it? What part was NOT present?
3. Write a description of your different sides, including those you like and those you don't.
4. Write down a healthy dialogue between two different sides. One side may try to soothe another.
The floor is yours!
